The Game Slush Pile

Car Mats Switch Review

PlatformNintendo Switch
Release Date9/20/2022
PublisherSpacefarer Games
ESRB RatingM

Car Mats is supposed to be for kids, I think. However, its so bad that I don’t think kids will want to play with it. The idea is you play on one of five car mats, however, only one of them, the powerboat race, has any point to it. The rest, you just drive around a mat… and that’s it.

Those cops are foiled by a house.

In Police Chase, police are supposed to chase you. When they reach you, nothing happens. In Police Patrol, you patrol the streets as a cop and do nothing. On the Beware Trains map, a train drives around, and that’s it. It poses no threat to you, you even clip through most of the train cars. On Dogems(spelled correctly) you play bumper cars with no point or time limit. Only powerboat race has a point because its a race, but its easy and short.

This had about as much effort put in as the rest of the game.

As for the actual driving, its very loose and not very fun. Probably the most fun thing to do is to do doughnuts, leaving tire marks, but that gets old fast. The car AI is awful, often getting stuck on objects(as shown the first screen shot). The boat racers follow a predetermined path. The bumper cars all just drive at you(as shown below).

What the hell are those grey blobs supposed to be?

The game is ugly, just look at those shadows above. The sound is grating, just various car and train sounds… and that’s it.

I think this game would have been better off focusing on one very complex, entertaining car map, instead of five terrible ones. But considering the effort put in altogether, I doubt that would be very good either. Some car maps have health gauges for your car, others don’t, yet you can still explode. You can clip through some train cars, but not others. Why do the powerboats leave squeal marks in water? Why are the shadows grey?

This all just screams lazy cash grab from clueless parents…. and me, who paid money for it in order to review it. I really hope the developers enjoy their 4 dollars.

Overall: Lazy. Lazy. Lazy.

Nintendo Site

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