Jesus Simulator is one of the most offensive things I have ever played, and I played Anime Feet Girls. I am not Christian, but I am offended on behalf of Christians. This game is a Midnight Works game (I believe VRCFORGE STUDIOS is either a subsidiary or connected to them). It is pretending to be something more than it is. It is complete garbage top to bottom, completely devoid of any redeeming qualities, as usual to Midnight Works. I mean look at the ai generated title card above. Slop, slop, slop!
When you start Jesus Simulator you get this screen:
This is complete bullshit. Jesus Simulator is loosely based on the Jesus story. And vaguely follows it. You start off as Mary, and go to a spring, get water, come back, bake bread and have a badly written conversation with Joseph about baking bread:
The conversation just drags on and on and reads like it was written by AI, probably was. The voices in Jesus Simulator are AI generated and completely devoid of passion or emotion. I know they are AI because they’ll randomly switch accents. Like Mary will randomly become British and switch back. Anyways, then you have a vision from an angel telling you’ll birth Jesus. Then it switches to Joseph building a chair.
The quicktime events in Jesus Simulator are broken, as the game rarely registers the button presses at all, passing becomes a matter of just mashing the buttons until you pass. After this, you and Mary go to Bethlehem and need to find a place to lie down. This involves walking around a barren and ugly place with absolutely no direction whatsoever. There’s a number above the direction indicator. Its not distance to objective. It is the direction you are headed. This leaves you completely lost. Heck I got hopeless going to get water as Mary at the start, and had to restart.
I think I found the place, but Mary had gotten stuck on level geometry and disappeared and I couldn’t complete it so I gave up. Oh before I forget, before each section in Jesus Simulator, there is an exposition screen narrated by a guy with a southern American accent. This is too is written by AI. The a look at how mechanical this reads. It is certainly AI, because I doubt the developers ever opened a bible:
In the end, Jesus Simulator gets a Garbage Verdict with a one score. You’d think they actually put effort into this and give Christians a game they could proud of. but no. I know, Midnight Works, give us a game based on the Prophet Muhammad like this one and lets see how that goes. They won’t of course, because they know Christians aren’t going to boycott this. But still, they deserve better than this garbage.
Overall: Jesus Simulator is a Midnight Works-style title, meaning its absolute dog crap. Christians deserve religious games far better than this.
Verdict: Garbage
Score: 1
| Release Date | 7/8/26 |
| Cost | $12.99 |
| Publisher | VRCFORGE STUDIOS |
| ESRB Rating | T |
