PlatformNintendo Switch
Release Date4/22/2022
PublisherRedDeer Games
Cost$6.99
ESRB RatingE

You buy an orchard. You go plant trees and sell apples. And that’s about it. You know, I’ve sat through more Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons games than I can count. I’ve even sat through Stardew Valley. Bit Orchard is probably the most boring farming game I’ve ever played. You wake up, water your trees, kill a few weeds, pet the rabbit and go back to sleep by 2pm at most. Repeat the next day.

Bit Orchard: Animal Valley
Befriend the rabbit, if you can catch it.

I understand this is discount Story of Seasons, but Bit Orchard should be more interesting than this. The cover image promises you’ll find love and meet other kooky characters, I got news for you, you can’t even leave the orchard. Maybe you can later, but I didn’t care to sit around long enough to find out.

Bit Orchard: Animal Valley
Be sure to water your trees every day…

Farming games like Story of Seasons give you so much stuff to do, its a time management game at heart. Farm, mine, fish, befriend people, find love, tend livestock. You’ve gotta fit it all in somehow. There’s nothing to do in Bit Orchard, so you’re often asleep by mid afternoon. Sure there are upgrades, but they’re mostly cosmetic. And, to add insult to injury, if you want a chicken coop, pay $1.99. Stardew Valley added stuff like fisheries, for free.

I’m looking forward to Story of Seasons: A Wonderful Life next year. I won’t be back to Bit Orchard.

Overall: Bit Orchard: Animal Valley is discount Story of Seasons, and entirely misses the point.

Verdict: Not Recommended

E-Shop Page

P.S. No internal link here, just pointing out there are SIX VERSIONS on the E-Shop!

Facebook
Twitter
Reddit
Email
Print
Jesus Simulator

Jesus Simulator Switch Review

Jesus Simulator is a Midnight Works-style title, meaning its absolute dog crap. Christians deserve religious games far better than this.

Read More »
Solitaire World

Solitaire World Anime Waifus Switch Review

Solitaire World Anime Waifus is a terrible solitaire game with AI generated waifus. Its a scam. You can generate hotter waifus yourself.

Read More »
Volcano Princess

Volcano Princess Switch Review

Volcano Princess is a daughter raising simulator that is both not creepy, and bursting at the seems with stuff to do. There is Almost too much to do.

Read More »

Anime Feet Girls Switch Review

Anime Feet Girls by Red Fables is fetish content for your Nintendo Switch where foot fetishists can now feel included… yeah… it’s bad!

Read More »

Bokosuka Wars Switch Review

Bokosuka Wars is a game that is thirty years old. It is a terrible game with few redeeming qualities and should have remained buried.

Read More »
Revenge on Gold Diggers

Revenge on Gold Diggers Switch Review

Revenge on Gold Diggers is a good interactive movie, but whether you want to experience it depends if you care about the topic it addresses.

Read More »
Add Comment