The Game Slush Pile

Slasher Switch Review

PlatformNintendo Switch
Release Date5/25/23
PublisherGoGame Console Publisher
ESRB Rating T

I had a decision today. Play Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, or play shit like Slasher – Sword RPG Impact Simulator. One of the best games ever made, total crap? I chose wrong. Look at the title picture above, it looks AI generated. This is because I can’t tell if the sword is through her chest, or being held by her missing arm. It doesn’t matter cause you don’t look like her anyway. But wait, there’s more. You see the icon on the home screen is not that image, its actually a screenshot.

Sandwiched between two good games

It is actually where you start in Slasher, they just cropped out the UI. So you talk to a “man” and then to a “second man.” The first lays out the story, which you can ignore. The second the controls and basic combat info, which you can basically also ignore. Then you walk through a portal and the game formally begins.

Game is essentially engaging in confusing and clunky combat with two types of dudes. Then you maybe find a key surround by a giant red glow. And then maybe do really bad platforming.Then you move you on. I don’t know, maybe there are more kinds of dudes. Maybe the area objective gets more complex. I don’t care. It’s just not fun to play. You can upgrade your attacks and health and stamina via souls dropped by enemies. It seems there might be more weapons than you standard katana, but again I don’t care.

The most that went into game assets are her twin assets

What I am trying to say I am rushing through this review so I can go back to Zelda. I want to get to the Water Temple tonight. Better hurry. As for Slasher, this is a big pile of crap. Don’t play it.

Overall: Slasher is a really terrible action game. Its clunky and really boring.

Verdict: Garbage

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P.S. Want a even worse game? Try Soulsland! Want a good cheap action game? Try Blade of Darkness!.

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